Momma’s sleepless nights and why I enjoy them

 

My little girl has never been an easy baby. She always demands for our attention, she has to get what she wants, her sleeping schedule is not fixed, and so on. But I don’t mind. She is a baby and we have to give her needs and wants. I am not spoiling her, though. In fact, even as early as now, I am already teaching her the values of sharing, loving, respecting and praying (these are only a few to mention).

 

Having a newborn baby means saying hello to those two dark circles below your eyes called the eye bags haha. Every momma will surely relate to this, especially the breastfeeding ones, as newborn babies will wake up every 2-3 hours to be fed.

 

My munchkin was 3 and a half months when she started sleeping through the night. And, I was like, “yay! Finally. I can sleep for more than 3 hours”. That was surely invigorating. Unfortunately, I was only able to enjoy that for like 2 weeks. My baby’s sleeping routine changed all of a sudden. She seems to HATE sleep. She sleeps at 2, 3, 4, 5 even 6 in the morning. We’ve consulted this with her pedia and she said that it’s normal. So we didn’t get worried. We would just play with her, then rock her to sleep when she’d be sleepy already. We have tried everything to establish her sleeping schedule back to normal but nothing works.

 

The record breaker was this past week. She would sleep at 4 in the morning, then wake up just after a few minutes. She was just so active and does not want to go back to sleep. She’d sleep again at 6 or 7am then will wake up 30 minutes after. My husband even jokingly said “baby’s torturing us” haha. I salute my husband as he’s the one looking after her in the wee hours and would rock her to sleep.

 

We enjoy playing with her even without sleep, but sometimes, our bodies just want to give up no matter how we tell ourselves that we have to stay awake. But you know what, I wouldn’t trade my baby for sleep or for anything else. I wouldn’t wish to go back to our lives before her.

 

Just last night, rather this morning at 5, while I was rocking her to sleep and I was super sleepy, I suddenly caught myself crying. I realized (AGAIN – I reflect on this realization everyday) how time really flies. My baby who was once so tiny is 8 months old now. It seems like only a month have passed since I gave birth her. This is why I savour each and every single day with her. This is why I enjoy more playing with her everyday and every night, I enjoy rocking and swaying her to sleep more, I enjoy being a momma to her. The feeling that she needs me is irreplaceable. I don’t want this to stop. I look forward to what she’ll become in the future but I wanted her to be this tiny a little bit longer. She’d only be this small for so long so I tend to choose playing with her and watching her sleep than doing the house chores. Those chores can wait, my growing baby cannot. I’ll be doing those dishes forever, my baby won’t need me forever.

 

Seeing her milestones makes my heart happy, but I wanted her to be by my side forever. Those cuddles, smiles and kisses she gives me, I know they’ll only last for so long. Now, I cannot imagine what my mom felt during my wedding day. The fact that she’ll be giving her baby away is like giving your heart to someone else. I didn’t know how much my momma loved me until I had my own child. I wish I’ve never had answered her back, I wish I‘ve always showered her with hugs and kisses. It’s never too late, I always do these now to show how much I love her. I just wish my daughter will also do the same to me come the time that she’s a grown up.

 

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